Forthcoming Fecundity on Flirtatiousness

I've been alive on this planet for some time now. And during these years of being alive on this planet, I have heard many things. Some of these things that I have heard have been quite strange. And when I say strange, I mean very fucking strange. Come on folks, you're all intelligent. Well, not all of you, but I'm willing to give most of you the benefit of the doubt, because I am a positive fucking person and I believe that human beings have a lot of potential, despite what some people may think. Therefore, I firmly believe that you know what strange means. And I don't want to hear any of your philosophical arguments about strange being relative and blah blah blah. Fucking strange. Figure it out.

At any rate, I have been hearing strange things lately. Many. And I suppose I could talk about all of the strange things I have been hearing. For example, I have heard this wild rumor that there are many many human beings who are suffering or who have lost their lives unnecessarily in our very own country because the powers that be once again have fucked shit up. Those same being powers have found it critically more important to care for the needs of the white and wealthy than the poor and "colored" because they just don't have the lobbying power. I wish I could say I was ready to write about the events in the hurricane ravaged regions of our country. I cannot. For I am far too overcome with anger and grief to form words that would do any justice to those who have articulated before me. No, I will not speak of these things today in this post. However, until I am able to do so, I encourage you all to speak out about this travesty. Speak loudly. It is time that we are finally heard. By any means necessary.

With the above said, I am going to try to segue back to the main topic of this post. That is challenging to do given the serious nature of the topic in the previous paragraph and the non-serious nature of what will follow. However sometimes we need to re-engergize and take a moment to laugh so we can actually do the work necessary in the world to enact change. This is one of those re-energizing moments. Without these moments of laughter, we as a society become paralyzed. I would like to see us collectively end this paralysis, so I will attempt to bring a bit of light hearted humor to a very difficult time. So here we go. I have recently heard another tidbit of information that I have no choice but to label strange information. I have recently been informed of the fact that I am "quite" flirtatious. Now this information was quite a surprise to hear. And I have to wonder if this is some sort of universal opinion. I thought about taking a poll, but then I realized that taking a poll requires effort. I am too lazy for that kind of effort.

And I am forced to ask, but rhetorically of course, can one be too flirtatious. And I say this because if you tell me that I am quite flirtatious, I will automatically assume that you mean too flirtatious. I have been taught to read between the lines. To look through the bullshit and determine what people really mean. Perhaps there is some sort of scale of flirtation that I was not aware of and therefore, I have been breaking the rules. If there is some sort of code book, I would ask that some kind soul please provide it to me. I will happily pay any postage charges incurred in this effort. However, as an aside, this statement does explain quite a bit. Oh no, there's that word again. Quite. It does explain why so many people think I "like them in that way" when I in fact, don't. So I have been provided with this information as of late. And I am pondering it.

I attempted, albeit half-heartedly, to inquire further into this statement. I was curious as to why some people might think that this is in fact true. However my attempt was half-hearted because I also am not quite certain that I actually care if it is in fact true. For I believe, if I am in fact, "quite" flirtatious that this is not exactly a negative. We aren't exactly kind to each other much of the time. People are more isolated now. Community has changed. As June Jordan asked, "where is the love" and while she wasn't exactly referring to flirtatiousness, there is a certain caring about humanity in such actions. Perhaps my flirtatious nature has more to do with the fact that I actually give a crap about people. Stop laughing, you know this is true. Perhaps I am what some call too nice. Too nice. Can one be too nice. I am not certain. I don't think many people are very nice to each other at all. I have not given up on the human being yet. I still hold hope for us. And what is so bad about making people feel good about themselves.

However at the same time, I do not want to be misinterpreted. I do not want to cause concern or confusion. This is turning out to be more of a dilemma than I originally anticipated. Here I thought I was going to relay a bit of tongue in cheek commentary on my alleged flirtatiousness. I inquired about this flirtatious dilemma to a friend. I was informed that I am flirtatious by nature because of my astrological sign. "Gemini's are notorously flirtatious. And fickle." Gee, thanks. Now, not only am I a shameless flirt, but fickle too. I guess I should have kept my big mouth shut.

I will probably continue to ponder this topic. If you have thoughts, please feel free to weigh in. I probably won't care. Wait, of course I will. Perhaps I will have a t-shirt printed with a disclaimer. Warning. Any actions perceived to be a flirtatious act on the part of the wearer may not in fact, be intended as such. These actions include, but are not limited to eye contact, smiling, laughing, baking you cookies, helping you paint your house, taking care of you when you are sick, hugging, kissing, licking, biting, beating you with a riding crop (uh, maybe I'm getting carried away here) or any form of contact, physical, mental, or emotional. The wearer regrets any inconvenience this may cause and is not responsible or liable for any damages to any persons affected directly or indirectly by such actions.