The Case of the Disappearing A Q and Z

Today I discovered something very important. I discovered that there are a great many words in the english language that incorporate either the letter a, q or z. I came to this realization because this afternoon my keyboard decided that it no longer wished to type those letters. I'm not really sure why. I made an effort to inquire as to why this might be so. Unfortunately my investigation was not fruitful.

I attempted to perform minor surgery on the a, q and z keys. Sadly, they didn't make it.

So after various attempts and still no functioning a, q or z, I did the only thing I could do under the circumstances. I decided to call our receptionist. The conversation went something like this:

ME: Hey. Can you do me a favor?
Receptionist: Well uh...yeah. I guess so.
ME: Could you send me an email with a lower case a, q and z, and an upper case A, Q and Z?
Receptionist: Uh. You want me to...uh. Yeah. Okay.
ME: Thanks.

Our receptionist has not been with us long. But clearly she has realized that we are all insane and that it is often better not to ask questions and simply comply with our requests.

So now I have access to a, q and z, and A, Q and Z. It is somewhat akin to a "break glass in case of emergency" situation. Only it doesn't require any glass breaking. Perhaps I should enclose a full set of the alphabet behind glass. Just in case.

However, I soon realized that cutting and pasting these letters into the text of pertinent emails is a rather tedious task and truly a pain in the ass. Close to the end of the day and I need to send an email to the other members of my office. I decide that they are all a very smart bunch of individuals and they will figure out what I am trying to say without the use of a, q or z.

The email looked something like this:

Hey Everyone. In the interest of sving time nd energy nd not driving the receptionist insne I forwrded ll of the WCDL list messges regrding bckline numbers for her to compre with those we lredy hve nd updte s necessry. She should hve them ll now so no need to forwrd to her. Thnks.

Attorney Number Four approached me shortly after the sending of the message. She thought perhaps I had sent some sort of coded spam that would cause her computer to spontaneously combust in thirteen seconds. I told her that I have no a, q or z. And if she just adds a few a's my message should be clear.

Funny thing about not having an a, q or z. You cannot exactly explain that you are missing these keys in your message because...well...you don't have them.

Perhaps tomorrow I will be able to acquire a new keyboard. Maybe I will no longer have a t, b or o.

Something exciting to look forward to. Well. Not exactly.