Possession Inflection Interjection

I have been thinking about language. Again. Language. And more specifically. The ways in which the use of language influences thought. And even more specifically. The ways in which we use language indicating possession.

Now I am speaking of possession. But not of the demonic variety. Forget about Linda Blair for a moment. Although I wonder if I might be able to use this as an interesting analogy. I may return to this idea later. But not now. And just so we are all on the same page. Let me be more specific. To possess is to have some degree of control over the object of said possession.

So. Here. I have been thinking about one word in particular as of late. One word denoting possession.

My.

Yes. My. And there are many ways in which one can use the word my. So let me break it down further.

My. My is an adjective. It is used as the possessive form of I. It is used to modify a noun. So my essentially denotes possession of the noun it modifies. Now with this little refresher in mind it can be said that there are many times in which one might want to denote possession of a noun in the first person in such a manner. Hence. The use of my. For example. I may want to speak of something that I purchased. In such a case I would use the possessive my as the modifier. And to provide further example I will list several nouns that could potentially be modified by said my modifier.

Book. Shoe. Pen. Keys. Bed. Spoon. Camera. Notebook. Gum. Boyfriend. Girlfriend. Lover.

WHAT.

Wait. Something has gone terribly wrong. Did I say...yes. Yes. I did.

This is what has been puzzling me as of late. And let me back up for a moment. I understand that we live in a society with capitalism as a framework. And everything is built upon this frame. Everything always has been and likely always will be based on ownership and control and more specifically, the ownership and control of property. In some way. Shape. Form.

It could be argued that property ownership has been the central focus of all existence. And I am not speaking of all cultures and all times. I am not smart enough to do such things. I am not a historian. Nor am I an anthropologist. I can only speak of this place. And this general time period. So with that said. I have disclaimed. Let me continue.

Property. Control. Ownership. And what does this mean. What does this mean for our relationships and the ways in which we view those individuals with whom we share relationship.

It would seem to mean that in some way or shape or form we view people as some form of property. Not a new concept. In our society people were long viewed as property. Another example of the ways in which language and notions of property meld. Rule of Thumb. The original Rule of Thumb stated that a man could beat his wife with a switch. Provided it was not wider than the width of his thumb. Women were deemed the property of a man. Father. Uncle. Husband. And this was acceptable. And my point here is not to determine the rights and/or wrongs of the past. I am merely stating a fact about the past. Without value judgment in this moment. Perhaps I will value judge in a different moment.

But if you examine the ways in which we use language. You can see. Many people utilize the Rule of Thumb phrase. Without meaning to reference to original meaning. And perhaps when I said the people were long viewed as property. I meant. That although we would like to think that things have changed. They. Really. Haven't. Not much.

I would argue that our notion of people and property is much more ingrained than we might realize. And I will offer a second disclaimer. I am not a linguist. Someone who has studied linguistics might agree or disagree or both. Recall these are merely my thoughts. Therefore. Let us continue. Return for a moment to the aforementioned list. My boyfriend. My girlfriend. My lover. My. My. My. My person with significant descriptor attached.

And I don’t believe that people consciously think of possessive qualities when they speak. Or when they are my-ing. I don’t believe that this is intentional. But language is pervasive. And I do believe that it influences the way in which we think and therefore, the way in which we define relationships. And therefore, the way we live our relationships. Furthermore. I believe this has the potential to be psychologically damaging to said relationships.

Psychologically damaging. And perhaps this is where we can return to the Linda Blair analogy. I will argue that we have all either witnessed or experienced relationships in which one person in said relationship has their head spinning around. They are projectile vomiting the likes of which we may never have seen. It may very well be Academy Award winning. Confusion. Misunderstanding. Jealousy. Anger. Heartache. More jealousy. Dishonesty. More confusion. And perhaps if we viewed everyone as an independent individual. A sharing of intimacy on part of each individual. Not a possession. No control. Not ownership. Perhaps then. The confusion and misunderstanding and jealously and anger and heartache and more jealousy and dishonesty and more confusion and such would not exist. For our baseline view of the individual. Our baseline view of the relationship. And perhaps most important, our baseline view of ourselves would be different.

I believe this would be freeing. And our relationships would be richer and deeper.

But now we are back to language. You may be wondering how to describe a relationship with another individual without using the possessive. And I don’t have the answer. You may be wondering how I describe such relationships. I will tell you that I struggle with the use of the possessive. I am certainly guilty of utilizing it in a variety of circumstances. I want this to change. And this requires a great deal of re-training.

I believe we need significant modification to language. One that permits us to describe relationships without gaining possession or asserting subliminal control over people in such a manner. I believe we need to take everything that we think we know and turn it upside down. Shake the dirty secrets out of deep pockets. Allow them to fall to the floor. Sort through the lint. And you all know about my love affair with language. My fetish with words. I do not suggest we stop communicating in a verbal manner. This is not the answer. This is not my answer. I do suggest one moment of thought. One. Single. Tiny. Moment.

And perhaps. Just maybe. We will find the answers. Together.