Go Letting and Off Track Betting on Something Seemingly Non-Static

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to completely let go. I feel as though I am on the edge of said go letting. As if some chemical reaction could be set into motion at any moment by the addition of an out of control element. And everything would change.

As of late I have been...distracted. And thinking. For much of my life I have felt as if my interests are too varied and diverse. This of course means that I have far too many unfinished projects. And I can do a little bit of everything but only half-assed. Some might say this is classic Gemini. I have other ideas and believe strongly that I learned to be this way. Thanks M.

Sometimes I think about packing up a vehicle and disappearing for a while. I could travel to Neah Bay or New Mexico or one of those middle states that I have never seen. It might help if I actually had a vehicle to pack up. Try something completely different. Become a "real" photographer. Or actually attempt to publish something I have written. Or play random kitchen items percussively on small town street corners. And then I get all responsible and shit. Turn off the alarm clock. Get my ass out of bed. And go to the office.

And I am one of those fortunate people. I actually like my job. Seriously. Stop laughing. I do. But I have learned that this one thing alone cannot define me.

But sometimes I become self conscious and doubting. And I do not know if I am more afraid of success or failure. The fact that I have so many talented human beans in my life is both wonderful and frustrating. Sometimes I am witness to the talent they exude from their pores and I feel inadequate about my own abilities. I am delighted by their creations. Proud of them at every turn. But I feel as though nothing that I could ever do would ever measure up. They are supercalifragilisticexpaladocious. I am a phony.

And then there are the distracting moments. Perhaps I should not discuss the distracting moments. But in these small moments I typically observe something that reminds me how much I have grown to adore you. Little moments that I derive a great deal of pleasure from because I find people fascinating. Moments in which the true nature of the individual begins to surface and with that comes eccentricities and delightful habits that could easily go unnoticed.

But I notice.

You may feel that I am shifting gears. Perhaps a disconnect. But my distractions as of late are intimately intertwined into everything articulated thus far.

Seriously dude.

Perhaps I should take bets. Or at least a survey. Or poll of sorts. Determine whether or not I should travel to India to study tabla. Or take a road trip to the desert to photograph endangered lizards and secret government test sites. Maybe I should move to Hungary to write silly stories about socks. Perhaps I should do all of these things. Or other things. And take you with me.

Please feel free to post suggestions. Particularly if you are in a position to fund some sort of grant for me to undertake said suggestion.

Code Key Goings on with Me

Once upon a time...wait...no. Last week I...uh...well. Yesterday there was this...uhm...I...uh...hmmm. Sorry. I've been rather neglectful haven't I.

And...it is not because nothing has happened. Or because I have nothing to say. It's just that...well...I...uh...so...things are good. Quite good. I would even go so far as to say great.

Seriously.

But perhaps an update is in order. Therefore. Please find enclosed my rather random update. Indeed!

Secret deciphering code key available with four box tops!

Here we go:

Riverbank Slumbering. Outrageous Hats. DLEs. Sun Induced Tag Line Tattoos. Excited Exclaiming! Merit Badges. Dried Mango. Hiking in a Hail Storm. Sittin' and Sippin'. White Chocolate Obsession. The Tiny Little Dog on the Windswept Moonscape. Spirals. Whip Crackin' Roommates with Deadline Infusions. Sugary Coffee. Road Trips to Cemetaries. Globe Sunday. Desert Adventures. Lustful List Making. White Pepper. Successful Popcorn Procurement. Tangled on Tuesday. Lyrical Obsessions. WAFFLES! Technological Advances. Record Collections. Pondering on Rooftops. You.


Everything that you are. That you'd like to be. Will come in three. My friend. For it's. Not what you are. How you've come to be. All this will end and begin. Again.

Sometimes Fishnets and Face Paint are NOT the Best Idea

The Soy and the Sprinkel arrived...late. I expected as much and therefore requested an earlier arrival to account for such. And after I completed painting of spirals and the adjusting of fishnet hose. Sprinkle knotted roller skates and debated leg warmer placement. Soy donned cowboy hat. Adjusted the macular degeneration visor. And primped like the rock star we all know and love. We were ready. Out the door. On our way.

Even though we were early we were late. Nevertheless we located a choice spot toward the beginning of the festivities. In a moment of brilliance Soy explained that the energy would be high at the beginning. Therefore this was prime real estate.

And after too much foul language. Balloon moving requests. Discussions of scaffolding structures. And being touched inappropriately by a furry four legged creature. The festivities began.

I give kudos to every individual secure enough in their own skin to hang high and low and to the left and right. Each expressing their own individual beauty.

Later in the day I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror. And I realized that I had actually obtained a fair amount of sun. And when I say "fair amount" I mean a whole hell of a lot of sun. And then I realized something.

I have several spirals painted on my face with waterproof black eyeliner. Shit. This could be problematic.

So I did what any sane individual would do. I refused to wash my face with the hope that remaining in denial about the possible ramifications of my actions would enable me a bit of peace. But I certainly couldn't remain in denial for all eternity. So after a few drinks at the illustrious Denny's Lounge made by our lovely bartender. And a brief conversation with the mysterious Maverick. Finalizing the evening with the tattooed and heavily pierced fine as hell man at the Ballard Market. I returned home. And washed my face.

Sprinkle remained with me for moral support. That and she needed a bit of time to sober up. And I can say to my lovely readers that my spirals may be around a bit longer than I originally anticipated. That and the fact that in a day or two my upper right thigh will appear to exhibit a lovely golden waffle pattern.

Happy Solstice!

Be Afraid of Your Keyboard. Be Very Afraid.

It seems that everything is about something or something else or something over there or something over here that we are supposed to fear. Here is yet another example of a seemingly innocent object that we should be very very afraid of. Be careful. It's an incredibly dangerous world out there...or so we've be told!

My new and improved keyboard -- complete with functioning a, q and z keys -- includes a health warning. There is a tag located on the cord of the keyboard that reads as follows:

See bottom of keyboard for HEALTH WARNING! DO NOT REMOVE THIS TAG!

So. Being one of those girls that always does exactly what she is told I turned the keyboard over to view this important "health warning" immediately. This is an exact quote of the health warning:

HEALTH WARNING!

Use of a keyboard or mouse may be linked to serious injuries or disorders.

When using a computer, as with many activities, you may experience occasional discomfort in your hands, arms, shoulders, neck, or other parts of your body. However, if you experience symptoms such as persistent recurring discomfort, pain, throbbing, aching, tingling, numbness, burning sensation, or stiffness DO NOT IGNORE THESE WARNING SIGNS. PROMPTLY SEE A QUALIFIED HEALTH PROFESSIONAL, even if symptoms occur when you are not working at your computer. Symptoms like these can be associated with painful and sometimes permanently disabling injuries or disorders of the nerves, muscles, tendons or other parts of the body. These musculoskeletal disorders (MSDs) include carpal tunnel syndrome, tendonitis, tenosynovitis and other conditions.

While researchers are not yet able to answer many questions about MSDs, there is agreement that many factors may be linked to their occurrence including: overall health, stress and how one copes with it, medical and physical conditions, and how a person positions and uses his or her body during work and other activities (including use of a keyboard or mouse). The amount of time a person performs an activity may also be a factor.

Some guidelines that may help you work more comfortably with your computer and possibly reduce your risk of experiencing an MSD can be found in the "Healthy Computing Guide" installed with the device's software. If this device did not come with software see the "Healthy Computing Guide" section of the "Getting Started" manual. You can also access the "Healthy Computing Guide" and UNNAMED MAMMOTH COMPUTER CORPORATION.com or (in the United States, only) by calling UNDISCLOSED TOLL FREE PHONE NUMBER to request a CD at no charge.

If you have questions about how your own lifestyle, activities, or medical or physical condition may be related to MSDs, see a qualified health professional.

I am certainly not a qualified health professional. In fact. I must admit to all of you that I am not even an unqualified health professional. But I for one have grown weary of all of these things that we are supposed to fear. This is not to minimize repetitive movement injuries. I am certain that they are quite serious indeed. But is it quite so necessary to create such dramatic panic.

We have become a nation of terrified individuals. And this terror has caused us to shift our focus from the many important and signficant things that perhaps we should be afraid of, to a miriad of insignficant topics instilling fear and paralyzing us into non-action. Such fearful tactics are used by both the right and the left in order to futher their own agenda.

Perhaps it is time we discover OUR own agenda. Perhaps it is time that we shed light on this trickery. Perhaps it is time for us to look beyond the surface and make our own decisions about what we deem significant.

The Case of the Disappearing A Q and Z

Today I discovered something very important. I discovered that there are a great many words in the english language that incorporate either the letter a, q or z. I came to this realization because this afternoon my keyboard decided that it no longer wished to type those letters. I'm not really sure why. I made an effort to inquire as to why this might be so. Unfortunately my investigation was not fruitful.

I attempted to perform minor surgery on the a, q and z keys. Sadly, they didn't make it.

So after various attempts and still no functioning a, q or z, I did the only thing I could do under the circumstances. I decided to call our receptionist. The conversation went something like this:

ME: Hey. Can you do me a favor?
Receptionist: Well uh...yeah. I guess so.
ME: Could you send me an email with a lower case a, q and z, and an upper case A, Q and Z?
Receptionist: Uh. You want me to...uh. Yeah. Okay.
ME: Thanks.

Our receptionist has not been with us long. But clearly she has realized that we are all insane and that it is often better not to ask questions and simply comply with our requests.

So now I have access to a, q and z, and A, Q and Z. It is somewhat akin to a "break glass in case of emergency" situation. Only it doesn't require any glass breaking. Perhaps I should enclose a full set of the alphabet behind glass. Just in case.

However, I soon realized that cutting and pasting these letters into the text of pertinent emails is a rather tedious task and truly a pain in the ass. Close to the end of the day and I need to send an email to the other members of my office. I decide that they are all a very smart bunch of individuals and they will figure out what I am trying to say without the use of a, q or z.

The email looked something like this:

Hey Everyone. In the interest of sving time nd energy nd not driving the receptionist insne I forwrded ll of the WCDL list messges regrding bckline numbers for her to compre with those we lredy hve nd updte s necessry. She should hve them ll now so no need to forwrd to her. Thnks.

Attorney Number Four approached me shortly after the sending of the message. She thought perhaps I had sent some sort of coded spam that would cause her computer to spontaneously combust in thirteen seconds. I told her that I have no a, q or z. And if she just adds a few a's my message should be clear.

Funny thing about not having an a, q or z. You cannot exactly explain that you are missing these keys in your message because...well...you don't have them.

Perhaps tomorrow I will be able to acquire a new keyboard. Maybe I will no longer have a t, b or o.

Something exciting to look forward to. Well. Not exactly.